Stuff
Kiwi expat Hayden Withers (right) and his partner Raul Gonzalez, who live in New York.
Home and Away Kiwis is a Stuff Travel series finding out how New Zealand expats are finding their home abroad, compared to life in Aotearoa. If you’d like to be featured, email us at [email protected]
Name: Hayden Joseph Withers
Age: 28
Background: Born and raised in Otautahi! Proudly from Bromley. I am a serial freelancer. Currently supporting the office at Canadian Consulate here in New York; more excitingly in the past working in a Production Supervisor role focusing on the Covid-19 response for network television shows such as The Drew Barrymore Show, Awkwafina is Nora from Queens and Pretty Little Liars Original Sin.
The last job I had in NZ was working for the Ministry of Education during the day while daylighting as a drag queen in Showbiz Christchurch’s production of Priscilla Queen of the Desert while I was home from New York awaiting my Green Card to be processed.
Why did you leave NZ?
I left New Zealand to attend theatre school and pursue my dream of performing on Broadway.
What has been better than expected?
It took me a long time to make genuine connections here I would say, but the ones I have made have been lifelong and delicious! Opportunities. Accessibility to an abundance of affordable theatre, museums and experiences.
Now that I have more of a disposable income, the food is better than I expected. You come to expect high quality ingredients at all levels of culinary experiences in NZ (even down to the beef at McDonalds.) In the USA you have to pay a premium to have those same high quality experiences. But they are so worth it. The food here is unreal and there are so many different options. Also being able to go for dinner at 10pm and not be the only ones in the restaurant is nice.
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Dancing in Times Square: (l to r) Melissa Buriak, Taylor Tucker, Hayden Withers and Hope Jamieson.
Any insider tips for Kiwi travellers to New York?
Try to stay off the beaten path. Go to Brooklyn or Queens. Definitely hit up the tourists spots, they are great, but try adventure a little more too. Instead of hanging around Broadway/7th or 8th Aves, try walking down 9th or 10th.
Fav spots in Manhattan: Quality Bistro (it’s expensive, but the butter service is otherworldly). Danji is this great Korean spot we just discovered. Haswell Greens is a great bar with live music every night. UT47 is a fantastic cafe. (Best chai lattes I have ever had). The Summit at One Vanderbilt is incredible, I loved it. Must try. New York’s newest observation deck well worth every cent.
Go to Brooklyn. Brooklyn Museum is my favourite museum in the city and the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens are right there too which are great. Rocka Rolla is one of my favourite bars in the city and Roberta’s pizza slaps every time.
What has been more challenging than you anticipated?
As I mentioned, making genuine connections was difficult. I have gone through my fair share of folks who I thought we’re going to be in it for the long haul who eventually burned a bridge or didn’t show to be all that they seemed. Pursuing my original dream was more difficult than I anticipated.
Once you throw in the actual challenges of life, it can make it very difficult to prioritise your dreams and also have enough energy to get out of bed in the morning, make enough money to pay your bills, keep you fed and keep your head on your shoulders, there is not much time left for dreaming. Especially in a city like NYC. That’s not to say dreams can’t be adjusted.
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Hayden Withers and mum Molly Chapman at Times Square, New York.
What does your average grocery shop cost?
I don’t remember the last time I did an entire grocery shop for a week. My lifestyle doesn’t support me cooking very often. There is a pre-cooked meal service I use which is like $80 for six meals delivered to your door. All you need to do is microwave it for 2 mins or oven it for 15. You can get a decent amount of takeout delivered for like $20 which would ideally last you for lunch the next day. Oftentimes I am only in the grocery store when I am hosting a party; I have noticed increases in prices over the last few years.
What about renting/buying a place to live?
My rent for a two-bedroom with a backyard (about 45 minutes from Times Square by train) is US$2250 ( NZ$3650). I live alone and that is a luxury. I would say more commonly most of my friends who share their spaces spend about US$1000-$1200 per month, about NZ$1950.
What are the most affordable/expensive things about life in your new country?
I can go to most museums in NYC for free with a library card. I can see Broadway shows for $30-$40. I can get a pizza slice for a dollar followed by a whiskey and ginger ale from the local dive bar for $5. I can take the subway as far as the subway goes for only $2.75. Those are all the cheap things.
Expensive things: getting high quality ingredients in a meal. Winter sports games (basketball, ice hockey, American Football), rent can be expensive if you want the luxury of living alone. Rooftop bars are expensive.
What do you miss about New Zealand?
The food, my mumma and dad. My family and friends. The people. The fresh air. The land!
What would entice you back to New Zealand?
Deterioration of my mum or dad’s health. Working for an American company on an assignment in NZ. Think of a US production that comes to NZ to shoot. That would be a dream. Or when I feel like the overseas adventures are over.
If you’d like to be featured in this series, email us at [email protected]
