Call them first world problems, but even the smallest of inconveniences can seem earth-shattering when you’ve just completed a long-haul flight in the cheap seats.
Our team of grumpy travel writers list the little pet peeves in hotels that feel utterly outrageous when you’re tired after a long-haul flight.
From suspicious stains and stray hairs to curtains that won’t close, overly priced mini bars and slow wi-fi, this ranty list was especially cathartic to put together.
And because we don’t want you to think we’re just a bunch of grumpy writers, here’s a handy list of hotel hacks to make your next stay easier.
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– The air conditioning system that never cools down despite your best attempts to jab at the control in the wall.
– The curtains that don’t meet to block out the light, so there’s always a sliver of sunlight filtering in.
– The millions of light switches dotted around the room that make you go through 17 different ‘moods’ and when you turn one off, another turns on.
– The alarm set for 3am. It has 36 buttons but none of them turn it off.
Brook Sabin/Stuff
Grumpy reporter Brook Sabin is over it.
– A giant room with only one electric socket. Who needs to charge all their tech at once anyway?
– There’s a number to dial for room service but no one answers.
– Having to use your key card to turn on the electricity.
– Key cards that deactivate when you put them near your phone (it’s 2022 – come on, we surely have a solution for this)
– The shower with zero water pressure, so the miserably weak trickle of water is either dangerously scalding or icy – there is no moderation.
– When expectation does not meet reality. You booked ‘city views’ – and it turns out like below.
Brook Sabin/Stuff
A hotel in Hulhumale, Maldives, advertised ‘city views’ – this is what they meant.
– No windows – so you’ve ended up in a glorified, and expensive prison cell
– Tiny packets of milk that you need 13 of to turn your coffee white.
– Scales in your bathroom: it’s a holiday, I don’t need to be reminded about my diet. Put it in the gym for those who care.
– The wake-up call where you answer your angriest ‘hello’ for disturbing you at 2am, only to find it’s a robot talking back to you.
– The double bed that’s actually two singles pushed together, mind the awkward gap in the middle.
– An overly complicated phone system for dialling out, calling room service or reception.
ISTOCK/Stuff
Sunlight streaming into a hotel room is great until it stops you from sleeping.
– Bathroom sinks and vanities that are situated outside the bathroom.
– Bathrooms with glass doors or windows to the rest of the suite – no one needs to be watching this.
– That single stray hair (definitely not yours) that you find just as you settle into bed for a good snooze.
– Too many pillows that take up half the bed.
– The lack of kettles in US hotels. How do you make tea?
– When you can hear the party at the rooftop bar.
– The $50 chocolate bar in the mini bar that you have to buy because it’s outside of room service hours.
– The extortionate temporary deposits just to hold a room and cover any incidental purchases.
– Wi-fi that’s painfully slow, and expensive.
What are your hotel pet peeves? Do you have a hotel hack? Let us know in the comments.
